Before the sunglasses. Before the vibes. Before the first sip.
You’ve never seen Bert like this. Hair wrecked. No sunglasses. Eyes that say “don’t talk to me yet.” Holding a mug like it’s the only thing keeping him vertical. This is Bert before coffee — and he is not okay. Front print on moss green ring-spun cotton. The most honest tee in the catalog.
Moss — subdued enough to match the mood. Bert’s not ready for bright colors yet. Select your size above.
The Design Story
Bert is always vibing. Always cool. Always composed. Sunglasses on. Coffee in hand. Zen in chaos. That’s the rule. This tee breaks it. Pre-coffee Bert is the version nobody was supposed to see — hair standing in every direction, eyes barely open, sunglasses nowhere to be found, clutching a mug like a life raft. The pun does double duty: he’s not brewed (ready) for this, and he hasn’t brewed (made coffee) yet.
This is only the second time Bert drops the cool act — the first was Frazzled Bert on the 40 Hours crewneck. But where that one was exhaustion from practicing, this one is universal: the 6 a.m. alarm, the empty pot, the moment before coffee fixes everything. Everyone has been this Bert. That’s why it works. See all Clothing & Gear →
Craft & Details
Bert says: We agreed to never show this photo. And yet here it is. On a tee. For sale.
Perfect for anyone who isn’t a person until the first cup is finished
Size & Fit Details
Relaxed unisex tee — runs true to size. S–3XL.
